Little-used ‘Staple-and-bind’ parliamentary procedure will allow Democrats to pass health bill with just nine votes in House, three in Senate


(Washington DC – RNN) Democrat insiders say that an obscure parliamentary procedure known as “Staple-and-Bind” will be used as an alternative to pass a health care overhaul should reconciliation efforts fail. “Staple-and-bind” refers to the final act of preparing legislation, using an industrial-grade stapler and a three-ring binder, for shipment.

“We take a trivial piece of legislation — a resolution honoring Vin Diesel for his lifetime acting achievements, for instance,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

“At the very last second, the instant before we staple and bind the legislation, we insert as many pages of new law as will fit in the binder,” she said, “This will allow us to pass a meaningful, bipartisan health care reform bill, that benefits all Americans, with just nine votes in the House and three votes in the Senate.”

Politico’s Mike Allen reported late this afternoon that Senate staffers were scouring the District for the largest American-made three-ring binder, the Avery Royale Deluxe. It is widely believed that the Royale is the only binder large enough to contain the entire 2,770-page health care reform bill.

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